學生見證
吳金洵師母
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
My name is J. Ruth Wu-Wong (黄吴金洵). I am currently enrolled in Logos’ 基督教研究碩士科.
I live in Libertyville, IL, a small town about 50 miles north of Chicago, with my husband, Kinfun Wong (黄健羒). Our son, Jonathan, is away in college.
When I was a child, I used to go to church with my grandmother, who at that time was the only Christian in our family. I received my first Bible at the age of 8, and sort of read it through while growing up. However, when my father died of cancer at the age of 51 – two years before I graduated from high school, I started to ask a lot of questions about life, death, religion, etc. Actually my belief system (if I had one at all) completely collapsed, and I started to think that there was no god at all – all the stuff I used to hear and see about gods and ghosts and anything spiritual was just pure imagination. I carried this thinking with me to college.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?), during the first week of my college life, Li, a sophomore in my department who was assigned to mentor me, treated me to a nice dinner and then invited me to go to her church’s fellowship group after dinner. I was reluctant, but couldn’t really say no after such a nice dinner. So I went with her, and spent most of my time debating with people and insisted that there was no god. Li didn’t give up but continued to invite me to her fellowship group. I went and continued to debate with people. It went on for almost a year until one day the counselor of the fellowship group challenged me, “Are you so confident to think that you are right and all the believers throughout history till now are wrong?”
This challenge coincided with an incident happening in my life at that time. On a miserable day in my Sophomore year in college, I had a big fight with a classmate. I went home, felt terrible about myself, and suddenly realized that I was indeed a sinner. I knew what Paul described in Romans 7 was absolutely true: “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing”.
That realization was a starting point for my Christian journey. However, I am by nature a very stubborn, strong-willed person. Because of this, God needed to tame me. And He has indeed used various ways to train me and tame me. In many areas of my life, I have encountered quite a few unique experiences, which, as I look back now, were often brought upon by my own rebellious nature and God’s discipline. Throughout the years, I learn to trust and obey my Lord more and more, because I know God is full of love and mercy – He will only seek the best for me if I am willing to trust and obey. It is worth noting that, after being a Christian since college, I am by no means a better Christian, but simply a more experienced Christian. All these big and small lessons I’ve learned from God’s university taught me that everything (family, children, career, talents, materials, etc.) I have now is given to me by God, and my responsibility on earth is to try my best to manage whatever God has entrusted me.
I met Kinfun, my husband, at Ohio State University. He majored in civil engineering and I majored in biochemistry. After we were married, he worked as a civil engineer for a few years and then decided to go back to school to study theology. I was very supportive. Actually I was the one who supported our family financially when he was studying at the seminary. Thus, it was a total surprise to me that I found myself struggling to be a pastor’s wife when we started to serve in our first church. I felt I was under constant scrutiny from brothers and sisters in the church and could not be my true self. I tried to fulfill the expectations of other people, but was miserable all the time. Gradually I learned that I needed to please my Lord, not people. It took me a while to find out that my gift is teaching because I can use different ways to convey a message clearly. However, the Holy Spirit also constantly reminds me that it is through God, not by my own natural ability, that I can be useful to God. For the past 10+ years, we have been serving at North Shore Chinese Christian Church in Deerfield, IL (our third church). My focus is on teaching the adult’s Sunday school. I especially enjoy teaching the seekers’ class. There is no greater joy than seeing someone who turns from a skeptical non-believer to a devoted Christian. Besides teaching, I also do all sorts of things that a “typical” pastor’s wife does – singing in the choir, leading small groups, working independently or along my husband’s side in caring and counseling, and participating in short-term mission trips. Although I am involved in many areas at church, the Holy Spirit constantly reminds me that our Lord cares more about who I am as a person before Him than what I do for Him. It is important that I am the “right” person before Him before I start to do “things”. At the same time, I truly believe that it is a privilege that the Lord calls us to participate in His ministry. It has been a blessing that my husband became a full-time pastor when we were still young. My prayer has been and continues to be that the Lord will continue to use us until He calls us home to Him.
Yours in Christ,
Ruth